During the third month of my breakup, which right after my birthday, i realized i should do something in order to get rid of him from my mind though I was still hoping for him at that time. How stupid i was lol because no, most men who left will never come back in short moment. And don't contact him, because that will never make him want you back. Reaching out to him will make men feel bored by the attitude, and you'll make yourself look pathetic. Which i did lol. I called him 2 months after the breakup to ask him for reassurance (which i wasn't supposed to!) Nothing changes.
Sooo in order to distract myself and start to treat myself better, i listed out what i should do physically, mentally and spiritually.
Mentally
I started with my mental first. In order to heal myself, i made two whatsapp groups which participated by only me. The first one is for me to rant healthily, by telling myself that i am worthy and i deserve a better guy.
And the second group is for me to rant negatively. By cursing him, calling him names, and mocking anything about him untill i feel satisfied.
Whenever i feel like saying something, I'd just write them up on either whatsapp group. And I'd feel a bit satisfied. It was the least i can do, but i think it was helpful.
And of course, always reach out to your friends. But have common sense by not disrupting their times. Find the right time and then you're free to share your problems. Always remember to use the right words and ways to share with them.
Physically
In physical aspect, i started to exercise and eat clean. During exercising, your body releases a hormone called endorphin which works like morphine. Because the hormone triggers positive feelings. And how to get that hormone? By sweating.
I changed my exercise, depending on my mood. I did try to brisk walk around my neighbourhood area for at least 3km. After 2 weeks, I danced everyday for 30 minutes. Then i did try to lift weight by getting myself a 2kg dumbbell and stretching bands. And the latest one is i rope jumping for only 300 - 500 jumps, thrice every week.
What i do was a bare minimum, but i don't plan to be too pushy on doing exercise. I just did them for fun, and to ensure that I'll stay healthy by sweating.
And i did try to eat clean but i only succeeded for 1 and the half months lol. I started to not eat rice, take a lot of protein and greens, cut sugar intake and eat below 1200 kcals everyday. Yes of course i always cheated but most of the times, disciplinary at it's best. I also take note of what i eat in a day and what exercise i did on that particular day.
I started to feel positive since that day, and most importantly i lose a few kgs hehe. I had some acne scars and most of them faded away because i eat less oily food. It was a splendid experience, though the healthy lifestyle only lasted for 2 months 🤣
Spiritually
This one should be initiated by me earlier after the breakup. But i started a month after. I wrote my own duas, of what i want from the breakup, and what i hope for the future. Of course, the duas changed every month but the key is to not stop praying. And trust in Him. I even pray after the calling of Azan because that is one of the time your duas will be granted.
I also often text my friends and ask them to pray for my happiness. During my birthday, I asked them to pray for my happiness right after they wished me. I will always remember their duas. Thank you guys :')
Other than that, i started to perform tahajjud (disclaimer: it wasn't my intention to brag or showing off, I'm just sharing my experience). I did tahajjud twice every week, by asking Allah to ease my journey. To show me what exactly should i do. I didn't perform istikharah at that time because i know that I'd hope for my ex in the istikharah answers. Only perform istikharah when you're truly have zero hope in any specific answer. You might want or NEED valid answers.
There was a lockdown at that time but gladly we can still go to mosque and surau for tarawih during ramadhan. My neighbour, jija and i went to the nearest surau for tarawih and i swear, the whole moment of tarawih is the most peaceful moment i had since the breakup. I did try to khatam quran by reading them every single time but maybe not this year :) I'll try again next year.
In addition to these, i also did apologise to whoever i think I've hurt before, but didn't get a chance to seek for their forgiveness. The one i remember the most is my wrongdoing towards my standard 1 classmate that i bullied. I swear to God, i am not like how I was when I was a kid. My current self is confused and always question myself, why did i bully her. I didn't bully her physically, but verbally. I know that I've hurt her in her heart, so I decided to look for her to apologise.
Long story short, i got her Instagram username and i messaged her by introducing myself, and i reminded her of what I've done. I asked for her forgiveness, and she forgave me. You have no idea how happy I was and I feel lighthearted after that. You guys can try too, seek those you've wronged. It's not wrong to say sorry. Someone wise told me, that saying sorry isn't the sign of you being weak, it is a form of noble act :)
And I'll continue on the last part, maybe?
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